I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
