This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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