she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
