I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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