going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize