Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
