i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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