now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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