he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
