Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize