Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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