I hate all girls vehemently.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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