I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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