too bad you live with your parents still
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
