I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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