There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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