I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
