Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
