i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
