Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
