if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
