from now on my penis is your penis
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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