Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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