I want to make a zoo with you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When are your genitals available?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
