Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
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Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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