It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
you never un-have a 4some
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
