Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
