They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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