Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
