Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
