Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
