I showed him my bush... on skype.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
