YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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