In the future we'll all be gay
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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