I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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