Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
