Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
