I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
