im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
