he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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