In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
