So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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