Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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