Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
