In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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