why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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