Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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