I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
