I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
