i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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