I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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