I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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