i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
