Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
