So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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