I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
