she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
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Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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