Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
