Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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