Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
