he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
