the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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