Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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