I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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