the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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